Trazili ste - eto vam
nedjelja, siječanj 14, 2007

"It doesn't matter if you're divorced, married, dating or dead. Once you get involved with a woman, you never stop paying."

"Don't worry about your baby, in a few months you'll be on your back with your legs up in the air, screaming like a banshee.Pretty much what got you there in the first place."

"Damn it, this is what pisses me off about you people. You people find religion and think that you have all the answers!"

"No, I got no problem with Tuesday. It's every other day of the week that's giving me trouble!"

"The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back."

"Romance is like the cheese in the mousetrap - it baits you into position, so the cold, metal bar of reality can come down and snap your neck."

"That's the problem with the world, everybody says "Everybody does it," so everybody does it!"

"Why do women always scream when they're surprised? Can't you just clutch your heart and drop dead like a man?"

"Television? Oh, my God! You know, what is this world coming to? People are eating bugs and rats on a stupid television show? I swear to God! You know, TV has become nothing more than the... the Petri dish where this country grows its idiots! Don't they have better things to do than to debase themselves coast to coast?"

"Rhetorical question, stay with me, Jake. So they're doing a story about violence in America. And while they are interviewing a bloated senator from one of our great trailer park states, instead of making guns harder to get, he blames the violence on television. What about all the violence that happened before television? I suppose the Spanish Inquisition came off a bad episode of Gilligan's Island."

"Just when I think God couldn't screw me any further, he gets out the old Black & Decker and twists a little harder!"

"The world is full of idiots, and someone needs to point it out to them or they will never know."
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